Secrets are the nightmares of many relationships today. Some say relationships can’t work without secrets so as to save the marriage, while others say disclosure of secrets to one’s partner helps build trust and security in a relationship. Whichever way, Saturday PUNCH asked for the opinions of people, if it is right or wrong for couples to disclose their secrets to each other.
It depends on the type of secret
Aiyejuni Oluwatoyin
I will say ‘yes’ because it depends on the type of the secret. It is normal for everyone to have a past; you may choose to share or not to share. For instance, if a man had a bad past and later changed in life, that secret is between him and God, and not him and his wife. If the secret is personal, it is between me and God and I will not disclose it to anyone, but if it is within the marriage circle and friends, I will disclose it.
If there is love, nothing should be hidden
Atinuke Ogbere
No, they should not hide secrets if there is love. But I also believe that disclosing secrets to your partner will depend on what kind of person you’re dealing with. Some can keep secrets while some others might discuss them nonchalantly with others, which can lead to a big problem. As for me, my husband and I know everything about each other because we are friends. So I disclose everything and anything to him.
It’s not good to hide secrets
Temiotan Aiyeolowo
No, it’s not good for couples to keep secrets in their relationship because there is nothing wrong with disclosing your secrets to each other. When you are married, you are meant to share everything. There is no way you can hide your secrets from your partner for too long because when it gets to a time, you will need someone to advise or solve that problem. So there is no way my wife can hide any secrets from me that I won’t know because I disclose mine to her. There is nothing wrong with it.
Nothing should be hidden
Adeshola Bankole
Couples should disclose secrets to themselves for the sake of the future. In my opinion, I believe nothing should be hidden because no one can predict the future. I will disclose everything to my partner because we are married, so we are meant to know things about each other.
For the sake of love and peace
Abejoye Olagoke
For the sake of love and peace, I will tell my secrets to my partner but not everything because there are some things that are not meant to be said. Most times, couples don’t tell their secrets because they feel it could destroy their relationship. As for me, it is good to disclose part, but not all.
Don’t hide secrets for future sake
Ebelechukwu Gbadebo
It’s not good to hide secrets because disclosing past and present secrets to your partner will help the marriage. There is also a saying that ‘two heads are better than one’. So if couples come together to share their secrets, it helps for the sake of the future. Most times, the reason why some men don’t open up is because they believe their wives will take advantage of it. But in my own case, I disclose everything to my husband because of the future.
It’s all about trust
Chinedu Chukwunnamaka
It is good to know the kind of spouse you have before you start spilling to him or her. If you trust her enough to tell her, there is nothing wrong with it, but if you don’t trust her enough, then it’s good not to tell, so that the marriage won’t break. I believe if there is trust, you will be able to achieve a lot with your partner by sharing things together. So it’s good to share secrets if you’re sure of each other.
You can’t tell men everything
Adelabu Ndidi
Yes, it is advisable to hide your secrets from your partner. We are human beings and an African man will always be an African man. It’s not everything you can tell your spouse because there are some secrets that you can handle and there are some that you can’t handle. And sometimes, disclosing secrets to your partner can lead to divorce or maltreatment from your husband or his family, so it is not advisable to disclose everything.
It keeps the marriage secured
Oluwatosin Onasanya
It is good because it helps to secure the marriage. For instance, my wife and I run the same business, so everything concerning the business, we share and we sit to plan together. Even if she is not around, I report to her and she does the same to me. No one can predict the future and for security reasons, it’s good to always open up. Frankly speaking, there are some secrets you can’t tell but they should be the minor ones. To me I disclose everything to my wife, because it has helped to build our relationship.
To avoid unneccessary reference in future
Modupe Inan
Yes, they should. This is to prevent your partner from making reference to it unnecessarily in the future. Also, it depends on the secrets. If the secret you tell your spouse is not the one that will get him angry, then you can tell, but if it is the one that will make him angry, then I will advise you don’t disclose it at all. It’s not everything I will tell him, so that he won’t use it against me in the future, because some men do that.
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